A Titanic Discovery

Whew! I’m glad that part of history is over. Now we can all get on with things. Now that James Cameron (of Titanic fame) has discovered the remains of Jesus, I can quit this clergy thing and go out and live it up! Eat, drink and be merry!!

The foundations of our faith have crumbled! We are amongst men most to be pitied!!


4 thoughts on “A Titanic Discovery

  1. What if God had DNA.?
    Base pairs G, T, C, and A?
    What if God had DNA.?
    Making proteins like us all.
    Would He mutate after all?
    My apologies to Joan Osborn and Weird Al.  This coffin of God stuff has got me all shook up.
    If Jesus was fully God and fully human, then he had DNA, right?  And if he had DNA, then half of his chromosomes came from Mary, correct?  Which means the other half came from God.  So what does God’s DNA look like?
    Okay, God Himself, the eternal Trinity, does not have DNA.  But the Trinity created DNA for the human Jesus, including His y chromosome.  What might this DNA be like?  Consider this hypothetical: though the odds are astronomically low, I suppose it is possible that someday someone might find a comb that Jesus used, recover Jesus’ hair, and then be able to reconstruct His DNA.  What would the genetic stuff that God supplied look like?  On the maternal side markers could be identified that would show Mary’s ancestry, etc.  What would the paternal markers show?  What would Jesus’ y chromosome be like? 
    Did God create Jewish DNA for Jesus?  Would these Jewish markers tie Jesus into specific Jewish ancestors, or just Jewishness?  Or, would the paternal markers be utterly unique, showing no markers related to any known human community?  Would that community be God’s community?  All human DNA mutates regularly.  Did Jesus’ DNA mutate?  All human cells have mechanisms that repair genetic mutations, an incredible system that slowly breaks down as we get older.  Did Jesus’ genetic repair mechanism work perfectly?  Or was it flawed just like ours?  Does Jesus’ resurrected body have perfect DNA?  Does it have DNA at all, or is DNA transformed into something else in the resurrection?
    The First Council of Chalcedon set the boundaries for how the church would define what it meant that Jesus is fully divine and fully human.  Now that we know what it means to be human in a much deeper, scientific way, perhaps we should convene a Second Council of Chalcedon to articulate the proper theological understanding of human genetics and divine genetics.  Of course, the first thing we would do is label as heretics all those who say that the human and divine DNA of Jesus were fused into a single human-divine genetic system.  Call these miserable blasphemers Monophysigenetizites. 

    On the other side, anathema! to those enemies of God who would utterly seperate the two genetic systems of Jesus, making the Jesus the container of clearly distinct divine and human DNA, thus making Jesus two genetic creatures, not one.  Call these enemies of the true faith Nestorogeneticians.
    And let us, the orthodox, affirm with Christians of all times that Jesus has both human and divinely created DNA, existing in one person without confusion or separation.
    Onward Christians soldiers.  And get these stupid pseudo-documentaries off the air!!!

  2. Watch your Appollinarianism Anny. He got his human DNA from his mother, your phrase “the Trinity created DNA for the human Jesus, including His y chromosome” is quite problematic. Your’re an interesting bird, or maybe a Coyote.

  3. I have not understood what all the hoohah is about this “Titanic Discovery” as you call it. It is not even a new discovery, they dug this thing up over two decades ago…

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